SPEAK NICELY TO ME
Kids are the best observers. They can see and hear everything. I’ve been watching our almost three-year-old now Celina and I can feel how closely she looks on me during every ordinary and extraordinary activity.
That’s why I care a lot when she hears me:
– speaking well of myself, and that when I look in the mirror I tell myself “nice – I like it”. I want to teach her that being positive and self-confident is desired and it’s worth fostering.
– speaking well of others. I don’t criticize or backbite, but I share with her positive opinions about family, friends and accidentally met people.
– complimenting others. She can hear how kindly I address my husband and when I tell him how proud I am that he’s such a wonderful father and partner. She can also hear how nicely and warmly I address other people who I meet at the shop, in the playground or at her kindergarten.
– saying “I love you”. These words are very often used in our house. Celina listens closely and watches how I talk over the phone with my husband, dad, brother or granny. I have no problem with declaring my love and I’m not ashamed of showing my feelings. When I say to her “Baby girl, I love you”, she looks at me with those beautiful eyes, smiles and hugs me, and sometimes she even says “I love you mummy”.
– using proper language. This aspect has been very important for me since my childhood, because my parents payed much attention to it. I will do my best to teach my children, though they don’t grow up in Poland and are trilingual, speaking properly and what is more important, I want them to pay attention and be motivated to learn the language and its stylistics.
It’s also very important to me that my girls see:
– me smiling. Despite greatest difficulties in life, kids should receive the biggest possible amount of joy. It builds their self-esteem and helps them cope with future life struggles.
– me crying sometimes. Tears are nothing bad. Crying cleanses, we women are sentimental and we easily get emotional. I want to show her that you shouldn’t be ashamed of your tears and sometimes you need to vent your feelings.
– me hugging my husband. Showing your feelings brings you incredibly closer, and when kids see mummy and daddy holding hands, hugging and kissing each other for example when daddy goes to or back from work, it’s much easier for them to show their own feelings.
– me taking care of the house. I want her to know that home is the most important and safest haven. I want her to feel that home means love and family warmth. I also want her to be able to make such a home in the future and to teach her kids the similar or better.
– me taking care of my family. Family is not just the four of us. Living so far away from everybody, I try to keep in touch and be on good terms with the rest of the family all the more. For the last four months, Celina has been in her new role as the older sister. She watches me taking care of the baby and she can already see that I take care of her exactly as I do of Antosia. I’m extremely happy that she has accepted the new, difficult for her, situation so fast and now she helps me with the baby girl by bringing her rattles, bib, pacifier and she can even feed Antosia when she’s for example lying on my knees.
– how important external beauty is for me. I love good quality stuff, beautifully set tables, collecting china, tablecloths, having a clean car and tidiness around me. When we go shopping together or rummage through antiques, I always tell her about everything, show, explain and she’s absorbing it like a sponge!
– how I take care of myself. I like to look pretty and to take care of myself and the things I’m surrounded with. I know that my Mother instilled it into me and now I’m instilling it into my daughters. Celina accompanies me every morning when I get dressed, comb my hair and put on my makeup. She sits next to me by the dressing table and passes me first the beauty products and then her hair ties to make her a ponytail. She always pays attention to my new nail polish color and she loves to rummage through my closet 🙂 I also take care of her physical appearance. I don’t dress her up to the kindergarten “just comfortable” but comfortable and pretty.
We learn diligence, responsibility, respect for others, expressing emotions and empathy from an early age, that’s why we should start educating our kids as soon as possible – actually even in the mother’s womb. We as parents are the absolute authority and our kids look up to us, so we’re their guiding light. Things they absorb as kids, will represent them when they grow up. Education doesn’t go to waste 😉